Attachment: What is It?

Attachment: What is It?

 This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.

Attachment refers to the way that you bonded with your parents when you were a baby. In some cases, this may have been a healthy attachment and in other cases, it might not have been.

Either way, the attachment that you experienced with your parents is likely to affect you throughout your life, in a few different ways.

It can also influence how you interact with other people. 

Attachment Styles

There are 4 basic attachment styles that a child may experience. The attachment style experienced as an infant can correlate with later mental health issues, in some cases. 

To find out more about attachment styles, check out this site for info on the 4 types.


If a baby experiences a secure attachment style, this likely means that all of their needs were met. Their caregiver was consistent in their treatment and was there for them when they needed something.

They were able to count on their parent for nurturing regularly. 

This type of attachment, as an adult, may lead to you being able to have healthy relationships and be reliable for your partner.

You might also be sure of yourself in asking for things that you want and deserve. 


When a baby is given inconsistent care by their parent, where their needs were met sometimes and other times they weren’t, this may lead to an anxious attachment style.

This could cause anxiety later in life and affect many aspects of their adult relationships. For instance, you might need to be reassured a lot and feel as if your life is meaningless if you aren’t in a relationship. 


As a child, if a caregiver was not there for you or avoided you, this can have a large impact on how you behave in many situations.

For instance, when you were a kid, you likely learned that you were only able to lean on yourself for support. 

Later in life, this could mean that romantic relationships aren’t that important to you or that you close yourself off from people that care about you. This can make it quite difficult to have a meaningful relationship. 


If you experienced a disorganized attachment as a child, there’s a good chance that your parent wasn’t there for you or able to take care of you properly.

They may have been going through trauma, or addiction and were unable to provide for your care effectively.  

Once you grow up with this attachment style, it may lead to you experiencing addiction or being unable to trust people completely. In other words, all types of relationships may be challenging for you. 

Seeking Therapy 

No matter what type of attachment style you have experienced, you may be able to see benefits from working with a therapist.

A professional can help you work on any trauma, relationship issues, or other problems that you are affected by.

They may also be able to lend a hand in learning more about the ways that your attachment style has affected you throughout your life. This could provide you with a better understanding of your behavior. 

Working with a therapist may also help you learn more about how to parent and take care of your kids, so that they have a secure attachment style, if this is important to you.

There’s no reason not to seek help when you need it. It is available and can help you become a better spouse, parent, or individual. 


Attachment is the way you are connected to another person, but your original attachment was to your parents or caregiver.

The way they interacted and cared for you can have effects on your thoughts, actions, and behavior for the rest of your life.

This is why it is important to find out more about attachment theory since it might explain certain aspects of your personality.

If there are things that you would like to deal with concerning your attachment style, you can always work with a therapist for more help and to improve your skills. 

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